CALLING ALL BIBLE VIRGINS

Madly in love with the Lord. Seeking to understand what it means to be a better disciple. Avid reader, computer geek, would-be writer, painter & photographer. Just sharing my journeys...

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“Gonna take a man, not a boy, to lead a woman as ferocious for God’s will as you. The problem isn’t you, it’s a lack of men.” -Seth

I joked on Facebook last night that “The way things turn out, you’d think all the guys I date are lactose intolerant and I’m milk. I look healthy & refreshing but no one can handle it.“ This quote above is what Seth said in response & it is quite easily the biggest compliment I have received in recent years and I gotta say, it rocked the foundation of my perspective on seeking a partner. I realized a couple of things from this:

1. It’s a pro not a con that am FEROCIOUS for God’s will. This might come off intimidating, but it also means that I am truly, uncompromisingly focused on pursuing His will and His plan. The only kind of man who will be able to embrace me is the kind who is equally ferocious, or who isn’t intimidated by that aspect of who I am.
2. I need to keep being me, not keep trying to change. God is going to put someone in my path who is going to have a hard time NOT noticing me, who is going to see all that I am and be glad I never compromised, who is going to above all else see Christ in who I am and what I do. If I keep trying to change, that means I’m not trusting God made me the way I am for a damn good reason.
3. Men (I repeat: Men) are few & far in between, so I shouldn’t expect every guy to be one. Frankly, let’s take it one step further - I shouldn’t expect any guy to be one - until he proves himself otherwise. There is a lot of responsiblity required to step up & be who God calls you to be as a man, a lot of work through baggage you gotta do, and a lot of self sacrifice required. And not every man is ready to do that work. This is an honest way of approaching the truth of our culture & it will save me the trouble of getting my hopes up, until someone steps up and pursues me in a way that really reflects the way God pursues us. 

God knows I’m worth it, He’s not afraid I’m going to fuck it up - He’s got plenty of grace prepared for when I do, and He’s willing to take a risk on me because He knows my heart is for Him. Some man is going to see that in me and know my value. 

I know eventually I’m going to be able to continue on in my days without having to remind myself repeatedly of these things. But every relationship is a journey, the end of every relationship - big and small - teaches us ways in which we’ve yet to finish battling our insecurities, and each new hope reminds us of God’s big plan for us. As my friend Tiffani reminds me on a regular basis, “Faith is believing in things unseen.” We all just need a little patience, He’ll get us there.